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Caffeine and buyer's remorse

Perhaps I'm not entirely over my recent ejection from a certain social circle yet, or perhaps it's taught me something, or maybe it's the decision to have a 24 oz Diet Dr. Pepper every morning. Whatever the case, I find myself in a strangely manic attitude. Unnecessary purchases are the inevitable result.

Gone (or at least diminished) is the usual self-apprehension. Instead I've adopted the attitude that many of the strangers I deal with are idiots and my attempts to fit neatly into their demented fold will fail to make the world a better place. Oh well, I never particularly cared about being popular, I don't see why I should start now.

Thus far, this approach has only confirmed my opinions. Approach a problem with logic and wisdom and before long you're a holier-than thou douchebag whose unwillingness to kiss their feet surely indicates a sanity deficiency. Granted, on Internet forums, I'm sure many fine upstanding people behave much more stupidly than usual, but I for one find this wantonly ignorant behavior of humanity a disgrace to which many of its greatest tragedies could probably be rationally attributed.

Well, if I'm going to go about making the world a better place, I might as well get started by producing something. This degree I'm pursuing seems to be shaping up around the concept of producing digital art - preferably that which is surprisingly deep (and sometimes rather strange). To these ends, I've purchased a laptop that should come in handy not only for that purpose but also for my classes (one of which is a laptop is required).

That plan may work, unless my laptop is stolen, in which case I'm out $1000 (which includes a 2 year service plan). A 3D gaming machine it's not, but if I'm developing games they'd likely be 2D Flash or Java based anyway. A decent Mac laptop would have been outside of my price range, which is a pity because sometimes it seems as though the creative people are using them these days, but I like power.

For a non-gaming machine, the power should be quite reasonable. A Toshiba Satellite A205 with a low-end 1.66Ghz Core 2 Duo (centrino), 2 GB of ram, and a simple 965 video accelerator (which, apparently has an incredible graphics capabilities if they ever got around to developing the drivers to use it). The hard drive was advertised as being a 250GB and I only have a 200 GB but, in the global scheme of things, I have little reason to care. If I were to put together a custom computer that included all the components, Windows Vista, and a monitor, I'd probably have come pretty close to the price I paid for it and not have the slick portability that laptops are ultimately good for.

Still, I usually hold off on laptops because, compared to the custom desktops I'm used to, they're sadly limited in upgradability. I can't rip out the motherboard of these proprietary devices and replace them with something else, so when it comes time to upgrade something more substantial than the ram, I usually have to throw the whole thing out. In my mind, if computers were living things, you buy a laptop when it's completely dead while parts of other computers at least have a chance of living on.

This brand new (albeit mid-grade) laptop is already operating ridiculously sluggishly thanks in part to the copious amount of bloatware that Toshiba has been bought to put on their startup disks. Or it could just be this unnecessary bloatware known as Windows Vista that I have to grow accustomed to now. I guess if I don't like it, I can ground home my snobby new attitude and run Linux.


The Thread (you know the one) is still going on over there and has latched firmly onto my latest City of Heroes thread. I have two things to say to my "fans":

1. If you've never posted a suggestion over on the City of Heroes forums, you'll not realize that my attitude towards many of the posters there was completely justified.

There's an overwhelming outspoken niche on that forum that finds it their duty to dump on any suggestion thread that dare distract development time from the things they want added. The critiques I received on that suggestion post were pathetic excuses, and I decided to call them on it. Don't let the volume of replies fool you, you can tell soon into page 1 that I didn't even care if that suggestion were implemented for years to come or not at all.

2. My mode of operation is to edit, and it really can't be done in a preview pane.

That somebody self-corrects their messages really shouldn't bother you unless you think forums are places you point out what's wrong with other people. I don't play that adolescent game: I attack issues, not people.

I used to think that maybe I'm just so socially out of the loop that I'm not connecting with a lot of people on forums. These days, I realize that the kind of persecution I get is uniquely the kind one gets for being too smart. I go way too fast and way too deep, and it drives them up the wall in short order. (In karmic retribution, it tends to drive me up the wall they don't understand what I'm saying.)

Any board that bans me for being too brilliant for enough of the posters to keep up with (or as a birthday present to a twit) doesn't deserve my posts. Undoubtly this makes me sound like an arrogant douche but, hell, if I'm treated like an outspoken genius I might as well act like one too.
Oh, Geldon Geldon Geldon, you should probably just let go of the comments from the peanut gallery. One can't please everyone, especially those who make being displeased with others their hobby.

1. No, there's no edit button for comments on, even if it's your Blog. I tend to delete and repost when I find a comment worth revising... which is often.

2. I figure it's probably better to tuck away discontent on a comment thread. It's not like I'm invited to post on that thread you have over there apparently all about me.

What we have here on this comment thread is nearly the pinnacle of procrastination. I suppose it could be worse - I haven't reached the point of trying to entertain myself by sticking my tongue into electric sockets.

Really, if you want to come all the way across the Internet to read what I'm up to, you're at least as bad as me. Is that board really so boring without me?

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