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Caffeine and buyer's remorse

Perhaps I'm not entirely over my recent ejection from a certain social circle yet, or perhaps it's taught me something, or maybe it's the decision to have a 24 oz Diet Dr. Pepper every morning. Whatever the case, I find myself in a strangely manic attitude. Unnecessary purchases are the inevitable result.

Gone (or at least diminished) is the usual self-apprehension. Instead I've adopted the attitude that many of the strangers I deal with are idiots and my attempts to fit neatly into their demented fold will fail to make the world a better place. Oh well, I never particularly cared about being popular, I don't see why I should start now.

Thus far, this approach has only confirmed my opinions. Approach a problem with logic and wisdom and before long you're a holier-than thou douchebag whose unwillingness to kiss their feet surely indicates a sanity deficiency. Granted, on Internet forums, I'm sure many fine upstanding people behave much more stupidly than usual, but I for one find this wantonly ignorant behavior of humanity a disgrace to which many of its greatest tragedies could probably be rationally attributed.

Well, if I'm going to go about making the world a better place, I might as well get started by producing something. This degree I'm pursuing seems to be shaping up around the concept of producing digital art - preferably that which is surprisingly deep (and sometimes rather strange). To these ends, I've purchased a laptop that should come in handy not only for that purpose but also for my classes (one of which is a laptop is required).

That plan may work, unless my laptop is stolen, in which case I'm out $1000 (which includes a 2 year service plan). A 3D gaming machine it's not, but if I'm developing games they'd likely be 2D Flash or Java based anyway. A decent Mac laptop would have been outside of my price range, which is a pity because sometimes it seems as though the creative people are using them these days, but I like power.

For a non-gaming machine, the power should be quite reasonable. A Toshiba Satellite A205 with a low-end 1.66Ghz Core 2 Duo (centrino), 2 GB of ram, and a simple 965 video accelerator (which, apparently has an incredible graphics capabilities if they ever got around to developing the drivers to use it). The hard drive was advertised as being a 250GB and I only have a 200 GB but, in the global scheme of things, I have little reason to care. If I were to put together a custom computer that included all the components, Windows Vista, and a monitor, I'd probably have come pretty close to the price I paid for it and not have the slick portability that laptops are ultimately good for.

Still, I usually hold off on laptops because, compared to the custom desktops I'm used to, they're sadly limited in upgradability. I can't rip out the motherboard of these proprietary devices and replace them with something else, so when it comes time to upgrade something more substantial than the ram, I usually have to throw the whole thing out. In my mind, if computers were living things, you buy a laptop when it's completely dead while parts of other computers at least have a chance of living on.

This brand new (albeit mid-grade) laptop is already operating ridiculously sluggishly thanks in part to the copious amount of bloatware that Toshiba has been bought to put on their startup disks. Or it could just be this unnecessary bloatware known as Windows Vista that I have to grow accustomed to now. I guess if I don't like it, I can ground home my snobby new attitude and run Linux.

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