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The Spacing Of The Dead: My Procrastination Continues

Being an on-call substitute is certainly interesting business.  Out of the blue, 16 hours dropped from above over two days, that's twice the hours I got for the first half of the month, and I'm scheduled to come in a few times more before the month is over.  Will this trend continue into April?  I hope so.  After all, I'm training for an additional branch, and that should improve my hours consistently... or so you'd think.

There's also a slim possibility I'll manage to land a full time position, but I am aware I'm a fourth string pick in that regard, as far as seniority is concerned, so whatever will be will be.  Either way, so long as I manage to meet expectations and not get let go for some reason, I'm happy to be working at all considering I was completely unemployed for awhile there.

So, am I feeling as down in the dumps as I was in my last entry?  Well, no - having a reason to get out of the house is always a good way to clear away the mental cobwebs that form from extended introspection.  But, simultaneously, I am still in the same boat I was in regards to not accomplishing anything in particular during my free time.  No incredible computer games are being created right now, and why not?

It's not like this copy of  Game Maker Professional I shelled out for makes it hard to do.  BYOND was harder to create in and I could have easily finished a game in it if I could have settled my cognitive dissonance about what I wanted to create... granted, BYOND had a nice tile-based system and native multiplayer persistent environment, too, so in some ways Game Maker presents the greater challenge to work with by being more open-ended and not at all persistent state multiplayer if I wanted to go in that (very cool) direction.

I did decide to shell out for Dead Space 3 while I could still get it half-price during Origin's "Gamer Appreciation" sale.  I've barely scratched the surface, but the verdict is lukewarm.  It's basically exactly what it says on the tin: Dead Space 2, plus one.
  • Plus one to the equipment system, which now is heavily crafting based.
  • Plus one to the environments, which more organic than ever.
  • Plus one to the solid combat mechanic, which would seem to include a wider menagerie of enemies this time, albeit the sense of feedback upon hitting them does not seem quite as solid this time around.    (I've been shooting necromorphs in the knees and they don't even flinch until the limb comes off, which makes me wonder if I missed.)
  • Even plus one to the players, if you care to play it in the new co-op mode.
However, to an extent, it might feel a little too familiar.  It's more Dead Space, the incrementing of the systems would seem to be just keeping it up-to-date, but I don't feel blown away, so it's only that: more Dead Space.    Perhaps it gets a little better as the story progresses, and it's not that I dislike what I've played so far: I like Dead Space, it's a quality offshoot of System Shock 2, one of my favorite games of all time.

Maybe my humdrum feeling of the matter is because I am still in a bit of a funk, productively speaking, and I know it.  Even if I did land a full-time position, granting me something resembling financial security after over a decade of worry on the matter, there's still the fundamental problem that what I do in my free time does not seem very enriching.

I can try changing my habits, even now; perhaps life would be better if I would actually get to the gym more often and do a little coding at home.  Maybe I should read that book I mentioned, I understand it repeats a lot of advice I heard already, from working in short bursts, exercise, and even meditation.  However, perhaps reading a book which lines up all these dots into a solid constellation would make that much more of a difference?


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