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Trailing Desperation

Alright, so I'm not a film buff.  MovieBob is a film buff - a fantastic one, in my opinion.  The Nostalgia Critic is a great commentator on the state of film and television to the point where he's become the head of a whole site full of them.  At the end of the day, I'm just a community University graduate with aspirations towards performing community library customer service for a living while writing a blog where I catalog my attempts to keep the dying embers warm in what has been my lifelong passion.

Yet, even I could see something wrong with being confronted with these trailers before I was allowed to watch Iron Man 3.



Ugh.  Just... ugh.  My younger brother was with me at the time and felt the same way, perhaps for his own reasons.  But there is something about these trailers that really leave a terrible taste of my mouth.  Lets see if I can put it into words.

Now, bear in mind I would generally identify myself as progressive, I'm not particularly religious (though I do generally like what Thich Nhat Hahn has to say).   However, a part of me thinks that maybe what bothers me about these trailers has something to do with catering to big city sensibilities.

These characters are so ridiculously proactive that they're superhuman about it, jumping off cliffs, talking like they're angels fallen to Earth and have to deal with the hideous plebeian wildlife, and basically throwing everyone and everything the bird because they're larger-than-life ass kickers that we can feel pretty dang good about being in a society so very awesome that we're above being human now... 
...only, we're not better than human, and we'd have to have our heads rather firmly shoved up our contemporary electronic-driven lifestyles to have forgotten that despite facing human limitations every single day.  Seriously, Hollywood, what do you think we are, idiots?  Is this how the 1% lives, in perpetual self-delusion that they're one scientific breakthrough away from life being a nonstop bender, Valhalla made corporeal in daily life?

That's one theory as to why those trailers wore on my nerves so much.  The other theory is this:
Not sure if this is an open source pic, so I'll point out that I'm reblogging it from here.
What you see in that chart is basically how stories go, with the height of the line expressing the reader's excitement in what they're reading.  There can be many such peaks in the story, according to what I read in Jesse Schell's Art Of Game Design, and entertainers these days tend to shoot for a double peak: a shorter peak followed by a longer one.

These three movie trailers never peak.  They just keep building and building and building.  Now, I know that this may be intentional in order to get people excited to see those movies, but doing this leaves the viewers feeling uncomfortable at the end of the trailer for many reasons.  For starters, it's a tease, probably deliberately so, you get us all excited and then you just walk out the door, and that maybe makes you feel special for being so awesome, but we're left sitting in the room feeling sort of stupid we gave you our attention to begin with when you're just going to abuse us like that.  However, an even worse problem with that is that it creates an impression that you don't know how to bring your stories to a close because you made this trailer that just builds and builds and then foisted it us on as though it's supposed to represent your movie.

If that happened once, it's bad.  But no, I had to watch at least those three trailers in rapid succession before seeing Iron Man 3.  It just compounded, wore down my senses, and left me not feeling enticed to see these movies at all, but rather thoroughly disgusted at the emotionally draining experience I was just subjected to.

What the Hell is wrong with you, Hollywood?   Then it hit me: they must be desperate.  Amidst all the other ways you can get at movies these days, the movie theaters are facing stiff competition.  So they'll try anything to fill those seats, even if it reduces their trailers to this.  Can a trailer hype a movie so very far that it'll actually end up filling less seats?  Some would say no, but I've three nauseatingly overblown trailers that have me feeling otherwise.

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