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Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Neither gaming nor game development have been occurring, as of late.

Work has been stressing me out a bit.  I worry my immediate supervisor might have chalked me up for incompetent.  If that's the case, the axe may not be lurking far behind.   I really like working there, but we'll see what fate has in store.   The worst possibility is it could be I genuinely am incompetent... but this reasoning sort of flies in the face that people generally operate at around the same level, none of my job duties are that incredible, and I do commit myself to them completely.  I'm probably putting out the wrong signals.  Of course, this whole situation could just be me making myself a casualty of my own over-thinking... well, it doesn't sit right with me to deliberately try and think less.

My Internet forum procrastination habits have overflowed to such a radical extent that this happened again last night.  I really can't stand being dragged into arguments I want nothing to do with on the Internet.  However, given that they've apparently empowered a moderator who backed me into a corner and told me that he thinks I seek out arguments and therefore I have to own up to them, things are looking grim.  I don't seek out arguments, but I am sometimes caustic in my attempts to extricate myself from them, and he can't tell the difference.  He's the guy with the banstick, so I guess I'm screwed.

Put this together with the other things going on in my life, and I've some pretty poignant reasons to be depressed.  I am running my hand along the realities of life, and the abrasive feel of it is working as intended.  I should take heart that today I'm not currently dredging up my breakfast from the bottom of a dumpster or shivering in the cold but, even if I were living in the lap of luxury (and I'm not) I am still very mortal.  What a way to run a railroad.

Well, I can sit here and whine or I can be proactive and acknowledge that it may be time to adopt some new strategies.  Looking back over the last few days, I think I might have pushed myself a bit too hard, both in investing whole weekends in trying to clean this room and in learning how to develop something cool in Unity.  Working 7 days a week is bound to make a fellow lose perspective.

Once again, it's time to cut back on procrastinating on Internet forums because, frankly, there's few worse uses for my free time.  I could be laying in bed all day and it would be doing more for my well-being than that: at least I might feel well-rested!  And being well-rested allows me to do better at work, which should ideally mean better performance which will make my supervisors happy...

... this is starting to sound like career advice from The Sims.   Maybe I should reinforce this idea by playing it a bit?  Well, if Sims 4 was out, I'd would get it today, but I think I've played Sims 3 to death and beyond.

I do need something to play, though.  If a reflection on recent events has established anything, it's that I really need to unlimber this overwrought brain of mine.


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